The Untold Consequences Of Our Gender Biases

Its 5:50am in the morning and the first thought I wake up with is the irresponsibility of the young men in Generation Y (aka Millenials) and Generation Z.

I read in the papers last week about a couple of 12 year old boys caught for raping a 6 year old girl!!! 12 years old!!! 12 years old!! At this point I’m at a loss for words.

We spend so much time and energy developing the girl child. More so with the strong wave of gender equality and female empowerment moving through Nigeria currently; the level of investment in the life of the girl child has been really… FIERCE.

Almost every weekend there’s one female empowerment conference or the other; we even have blogs, websites, foundations and organizations dedicated solely to this cause. But WHAT ABOUT THE MEN? WHAT ABOUT THE BOYS?

Have you ever noticed that with the increasing rate of responsible and culturally sound young women it seems like there is a direct decrease of responsible young men? It appears that as our girls get stronger and more self-reliant, there is an increasing number of ladies who get married late or end up with broken homes.

Why won’t it be that way when no one is taking the time out to tell this young men how to behave, how to lead, what is expected from them and more importantly how to appreciate strong women as colleagues, business partners, friends and sisters. WHY!? Have we made the mistake of assuming the guys already know it? Are we leaving a whole gender out of the development process?

Most of our young men today are confused and not nearly as purposeful as the girls. I have them as colleagues, acquaintances and to be honest sometimes I’m grossly disappointed by their lack of direction and purposeful living. Isn’t it possible that this because I know something that they don’t?

What’s the point of training the girl child when the untrained boy child will be a thorn in her flesh in the workplace? in family and society in general? Isn’t this pattern a tad bit similar to what African parents do in the home? How a lot of effort and discipline is instilled in the females while the boys are left to go outside and play?

I’m here trying to do right by God and be the best I can possibly be and I’m constantly reminded about how a lot of strong independent females end up alone or have really late marriages. Is it their fault though? Is it their fault that somehow the guys they have come across do them more harm than good? Is their fault they haven’t found a brother who appreciates their strengths and values their achievements?

I agree that the girls have always needed an extra push; particularly because of the ill fate culture has dealt them. I agree, I accept. I personally have thoroughly enjoyed all the attention and empowerment these initiatives bring. All I’m saying right now is I’m concerned about my brothers, my future sons, my colleagues, my friends, for this whole gender equality and female empowerment movement to be sustainable and yield the results we want, the guys NEED to be pulled into the development process.

I am itching to hear your opinion on this! This topic has been a hot debate in my head for a long time now and I’m sure your views can help set something’s into perspective. So ladies, Guys, do you catch my drift? Am I speaking truth or just blowing things out of proportion? Please share your views in the comment box below.

Sinmisola NY.

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19 Comments Add yours

  1. David Rotimi says:

    This is remarkable, it’s funny how I was having this exact conversation with Wadi Ben-Hirki a while ago, It’s great to know that we are observing the trend and more importantly is to take the necessary steps into making sure that we make a change in this almost totally gone wrong approach to gender Equality in NIgeria. Its gender equality not Feminine Supremacy.

    Like

    1. I’m so excited someone outside me has thought about this.
      It’s actually so true. Lets get more people to notice this trend actually.
      We need to get the guys involved

      Like

  2. Chidera says:

    You are right about the current rate of irresponsible young men in the society. These days you find out that the female (girl) child is doing better than the male child. This has led to a high rate of women being the sole provider of the home. I am not condemning men that are in marriages where the women are the sole providers but I am disappointed in those that sit back, relaxed and expect their wives to not only be the sole provider but the only provider in the home.
    In homes like that, the male child can decide to make up his mind to work towards being the sole provider in his home or pick up a negative trait and follow the foot steps of his father.
    Something definitely has to be done.

    Like

    1. Yessss!! Definitely.. The guys need some direction and knowledge too.. I wonder why we always just expect the guys to grow into men without any extra push

      Like

  3. Eyitemi Fasanu says:

    I’m not trying to be religious, but the spirit is definitely one! I’ve been thinking about the very same thing, and it just occurred to me that there are no male foundations or empowerment programmes in this regard. Its very sad to note that women are being so thoroughly prepared to the world, and men are not, at least that’s what I think. May God help us to live for Him, because its the only way to become everything He wants us to be, male or female. Nice one Sinmi!!!!

    Like

    1. You are in the spirit my dear! No need to shy away from that.
      Male foundations! Now that is a strong point

      Like

  4. mayowasemire says:

    You’re right on point! I’m of the opinion that this isn’t a recent development. Culturally speaking, the male child hasn’t always been raised to be morally upright. The focus has always been on the female child and in this morally decadent world, the consequence of this has become more visible. You have men with good jobs having children with several women and destroying the lives of women who have struggled to build themselves up. It’s time to let the young guys understand that their decisions have consequences.
    Love your blog btw.

    Like

    1. Yess Yess Yess!! We need to reach out to these brothers.
      Thank you for loving my blog! I’m honored.. Please stay in touch

      Like

  5. askmua says:

    Well said sinmi , only this morning I opened my laptop typed out a title for a word document I was going to work on ‘GENDER EQUALITY’ and I feel like I just read everything I was going to right anyway… The next thing after this sort of awareness is to start pushing in more kinetic awareness for stuff to start being done about this .. I really respect this line of thought , as much as I love ,appreciate , and even benefit from the internal & external build poured on us ladies especially these days , I very much appreciate this line of thought. All it takes really is one man / boy / male underdeveloped psychologically, spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, atmospherically whatever the case maybe , to ruin a dozen ladies / women / females who have been heavily invested on. We are all emotional beings in a whole.

    Like

    1. “All it takes really is one man / boy / male underdeveloped psychologically, spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, atmospherically whatever the case maybe , to ruin a dozen ladies / women / females who have been heavily invested on. We are all emotional beings in a whole.” Spot On!
      God help us spread the right message. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts

      Like

  6. Rosylyne Nojimu-Yusuf says:

    You are very right, and if this is not arrested, we will end up with a generation of irresponsible young men. Parents, Govt, life coaches and NGOs spread the training process to this future fathers. Is high time . Our culture of male upbringing must change in this regard.

    Like

    1. It really really is mum! Thank you for reading ❤

      Like

  7. Phidelia says:

    Girl, preach. A lot of women take so much time working on themselves because they know that nature already placed them at a disadvantage. But some men are so lax, they don’t even bother to be polite because they are ‘men’. I work for a Man in a team of 5 – 4 ladies and one guy. Myself and the other three ladies do most of the work honestly, the guy always finds an excuse to remain in the background. But whenever he has an ‘idea’ he requests that my boss gives him private audience away from us ladies. What nonsense? Thankfully, I work for a man who isn’t here for all that gender superiority bullshit, and doesn’t allow it.

    All I’m trying to say is, thank you for this article. Spot on.

    Like

    1. Thank God you have a wise Boss! I can imagine how it would have been if your boss was bias himself.
      We need more men like your boss.

      Like

  8. ruggedgentleman says:

    Truth is, everyone needs to be trained almost the same way. The fact that there is a segregation based on gender has caused more harm than good to the society. Note that many of the things that we think happen to a particular gender happens to both- rape, adultery and the likes. Just that those of females are more recognized and criticized. Truth is, regardless of how much effort parents put into any child, most of the decisions will be made by the child in the end owing to exposures. We should all help each other grow to become better people.

    Like

    1. Yes yes, it’s all about working together and developing across board.

      Like

  9. adroitkooks says:

    I was thinking of the same thing days ago, knowing that I have signed up for yet another female empowerment program, which I am very grateful for anyway.
    It’s disturbing the quality of boys (and men) that we are raising. Hopefully this article among others of such will get people doing something for the boys.
    Well done!

    Like

    1. Lets hope it gets better with simple moves like this. Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts !!

      Like

  10. Odunayo Aisha Hussaini says:

    Omg this is is true. I noticed this a while back, but its such a difficult task to gather a group of young boys/men together to develop them better. Girls are interested in those kind of things because hey’re usually the victims, but the guys don’t see any problem with what they do.

    Like

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