I listened to TFD (Tara Durotoye) speak once at an interview and she said something that stuck. She said she’s had to be sensitive to the seasons in her life and family, sometimes work gets most of her attention, sometimes her children and other times whatever other part of her life requires it (paraphrasing).

The default reaction to me picking work over a relationship (family or friend) is usually negative. Why? What did work ever do to us humans? Work is a good thing remember, it is not always some dangerous dragon destroying every relationship in its path (even though it can be sometimes). Work is in fact a requirement for survival and one of the major reasons why we were put on earth by our maker.

That being said, I’m currently faced with a decision to either pick work or be there for my friend and to be honest times like this I wish there was some sort of manual or fairy godmother to tell me exactly what my decision should be. See, this is a classic T-junction with no sign board scenario. I have picked friendship over work before but today I think I’m going to pick work because I sense that right now this is more important than my friend’s event.

I sincerely hope I’m not starting off my career on a bad note or building a culture of dysfunctional relationships. I really do. But regardless of my fears I’m going to have to pick work this time. I mean, I know my friend has made sacrifices for me before, and so have I for her but hey, work makes sacrifices for me too and I owe it to my employers and team members to be faithful.

For real though I fear that when I become a mum, every time I drop my child at the crèche, I’ll drown in guilt all day. But then I also want my child to have a super hardworking and successful mom that he/she will be proud of.  Why can’t we all just have everything in life at the same time? It would be really nice if we could clone ourselves in times like this (I wonder what’s taking these artificial intelligence guys so long).

I guess what I’m trying to say is, It sucks to have to choose. Sadly, this is one thing that cannot be skipped on the journey to relevance. Tradeoffs! I pray for grace to always make wise ones.

Have you ever felt guilty picking work over your relationships or vice versa? How did you feel? Any tip or suggestion on how I can make myself feel better right now?

Sinmisola NY.