How is it that a woman, who growing up had always been confident that she will make a great mother, went through 9 gruesome years of waiting yet lived her life to the fullest in the process? How was she able to release multiple hit songs, inspire people and maintain a blossoming career amidst the pain of “barrenness”?
Mrs. Toyin Bello is an embodiment of strength, faith and hope.
Toyin Bello (TY Bello) is a multifaceted young woman; a successful photographer, musician and philanthropist. A graduate of Economics from the University of Lagos, TY Bello has a certificate in beauty therapy and cosmetology from Opral Benson’s Beauty Institute. She’s also a skilled hair stylist.
TY Bello stages an annual photography exhibition to raise funds for orphans across the country, She is a Director of Link-a-child; an NGO dedicated to propagating information on orphanages in Nigeria and soliciting sponsorship on their behalf.
Amidst all the giant strides she was making in her music and photography career as well as the humbling philanthropic activities she was involved in, there was that one missing part of the puzzle that caused her grueling pain and tears; she had been married for 9 years without a child. In her words, “My journey to pregnancy was a very intense one. I had just been through the toughest nine years of trying to get pregnant, being confident that it would be a breeze since I had always known that I would make a great mother. It was quite humbling when it didn’t happen as I had envisioned it. It was grueling actually.”
TY Bello endured a long standing yet undiagnosed battle with Endometriosis; a disorder in which the tissue that forms the lining of your uterus grows outside of your uterine cavity leading to infertility in most cases. Regardless of this, she never stopped believing and eventually, 9 years after in October 2014, faith prevailed and TY Bello was given double for her shame and pain. She gave birth to the cutest twin boys that ever walked the face of the earth; Christian and Christopher.
Whether you are waiting for a child, dream job, healing, a spouse, a car, a business breakthrough, whatever it is, here are;
5 Practical Lessons to Learn from TY BELLO in the period of waiting.
Don’t give into misery
In her words, “If you allow yourself to sustain a state of misery because you don’t have something, whether marriage, children or a dream career, then you can’t have a full life, it is in the place of living outside of the tyranny of the desire that it comes to you in its full glory”
Live above it; keep your head above the water.
Focus on what you can control
In her words, “Sometimes I think I stayed so ridiculously busy just to keep my mind off the difficult process.”
There are something’s that are so crucial yet you cannot control, in these times it’s important to not let those circumstances define you. Live above it by focusing on what you can do/influence.
Don’t stop believing
“At first we didn’t know I was carrying twins. When I was going for my test, I didn’t feel pregnant. Before I went, I heard in my spirit, ‘Wear something nice’. I questioned the voice and wondered if it was nice to dress so nicely and get disappointed, setting myself for a heartbreak. In the end, I obeyed. I decided in my mind that whether I was pregnant or not, I was not going to stop believing.”
Nothing can substitute the place of faith in getting our desires met. Remember Mark 6:5-6? “And he could there do no mighty work, save that he lay his hand upon a few sick folk and healed them. And he marveled because of their unbelief…”
You need to believe for God to step in.
You need to KNOW to stand
TY said, “I knew for sure I was born to be a great mum. I just wasn’t sure on how it would play out but I knew it would happen nonetheless. There were some tough days especially towards the end when I battled with thoughts that God had given me everything else I asked him for and that maybe this was the one thing I would have to let go of. I however knew deep down that this was untrue.”
What do you know concerning that situation/circumstance? There’s a difference between what you know to be true and what the circumstance or “reality” says. God’s word is the only truth; (P.S God’s word is both the written word and what he has told you via prophecy and the likes.) Hold fast to what he says because his word can NEVER be broken.
Your relationship with God is most important
In an interview, TY said, “Every time I prayed, I knew everything was going to be fine and my life was in the course set for me, In God’s presence, hope is re-birthed…always. In worship, we see Him as He is and He sprinkles us with grace to see how beautiful we are.”
Scripture says Hebrews 4:16 “Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need”
How can you go boldly to a father that you have no relationship with? God is the only one that can give you the grace you need to go through a period of waiting.
Some of us have the misconception that the successful people that we see in the papers and in the news are just “lucky” people who have no real problems, fortunate people whose lives have been a breeze. But the truth is everybody has their own mountains to remove and valleys to level. It is not the mountain/valley that’s the problem. It is your approach to it.
TY bellow shows that perfection is not synonymous with success. Everybody has problems, sometimes bad things happen to good people, but it’s our choice whether to live above those things or wallow in self-pity.
So please, dry your tears, get up on your feet, go boldly to the throne of grace, take strength from above, find out what God is saying to you concerning that situation, keep your faith ablaze and work on those things you can control.
Just like TY Bello, you will testify.
This post was culled from the Thresh woman WCW Column. The ThreshWoman WCW is a column I manage with the goal to celebrate and encourage the successes of women all around the world while inspiring other women to chase their dreams fiercely.