No one told me it would be painful..

No one told me building character would cost me life

apparently for me to grow I just realized somethings have to go

I have to kill “Self-seeking Sinmi”, I have to kill MY WILL.

I just checked the dictionary for the meaning of sacrifice;

It means to give up, to forego..

To surrender or destroy something desirable

I have destroyed my appetite

I have destroyed my pleasures

I have destroyed my sleep

I have destroyed my time

I have destroyed my energy

Sacrifice…

That seems to be all the world demands from me today

Just one thing yet so profound

And amidst all this rambling and soul bearing

I hear a voice in my head saying “you’re just starting Sinmi”

By the time you’re done on earth you’ll be “sacrifice” personified

…

Everyone is always saying be responsible,

What they don’t tell you is the meaning of that word

And what it does to you.

You see, responsibility will break you.

It will rob you of your will

It confines you to commitments and cripples you

It makes fun such a distant word until you’re ready to redefine it’s meaning

Responsibility is not mundane

And “ease” is not in any way synonymous with it

….

No one told me independence meant being able to stand ALONE

Being Light comes at a price

You’re steady cleaning the wounds of others whilst yours lie open and untreated

You’re so busy solving the problems of others whilst you’re drowning in a pool of your own

Why Because? “WONDER Sinmi”

I mean how can anything be wrong with me?

I agree

…

You know the beauty of this process?

God.

He’s presence becomes much more glaring than ever before

Whilst you busy yourself running around the affairs of his children

He himself takes care of you

You learn to trust him because he’s your ONLY ally in the real sense 

And at this point I have the brightest smile on…

God has my back!

And that’s really all I need.

So, keep the demands rolling in guys!

Keep the questions coming!

Keep the expectations high!

And as for you; life? Keep the lemons coming.

I gatchu!

Sinmisola NY.